Tea party people: You’re idiots. I apologize for insulting you, but Obama’s tax plan in no way resembles the taxation without representation that led to the 18th century tea parties. The man was ELECTED, whether you like it or not, and he’s been in office for about three months. So chill. Also, if you want to protest wasteful spending, don’t buy a bunch of tea bags and throw them in water.
Texas-If you want to secede, knock yourselves out. You can even kick out all the illegal immigrants. But you know who you’ll be left with? My relatives. And trust me, that will suck.
Miss California-Here’s the plan-we’re going to make all partnerships “civil unions” in the eyes of the government. Homosexual, heterosexual, whatever. Then you can get off your donkey about marriage being a religious institution, because if it truly is, than the government has no business calling any hetero partnership a marriage, now does it?
Get ready…get set…scream at me!!
Monday 20 April 2009
BFFs
I had this great teacher in sixth grade. He was an English teacher and the man was hysterically funny. He also had no patience for sixth grade bullshit.
One day we were sitting in class. I was feeling pretty morose, probably because one my so-called friends had said something horrible to me. I got picked on a lot in sixth grade-much of it was because I made myself a target, and a lot of it was just the cattiness of adolescent girls. Anyway, this teacher suddenly stopped his lesson, put down the chalk and went off on a tangent that had been as valuable to me as knowing the word anomaly ever has been.
He said to us “You know, you guys think that the people you’re friends with now are your BEST FRIENDS. You think you are close. But the truth is that you guys have no idea what that kind of friendship is. A best friend is someone you can call and say in seriousness “I need a million dollars” and they mortgage their house, no questions asked. A best friend is someone you trust with your family’s lives. A best friend isn’t the person you sit on the couches in the common room and make fun of other people with. So just think about that.” Then he picked up his chalk and went back to vocab.
I’ve been grateful for those words for the last 9 years. They were words to live by. And I can honestly say that I’ve been lucky enough to find some friends who meet those standards. I drank wine and ate mushroom risotto with some of them tonight. I’ve talked to others recently, and a couple I haven’t talked to in a while. But I know they’re out in the universe. The point is friendship isn’t simple-it’s complicated. Real friendship is sometimes hard and painful. But the friends who stand by you through love and loss-they’re so worth it.
One day we were sitting in class. I was feeling pretty morose, probably because one my so-called friends had said something horrible to me. I got picked on a lot in sixth grade-much of it was because I made myself a target, and a lot of it was just the cattiness of adolescent girls. Anyway, this teacher suddenly stopped his lesson, put down the chalk and went off on a tangent that had been as valuable to me as knowing the word anomaly ever has been.
He said to us “You know, you guys think that the people you’re friends with now are your BEST FRIENDS. You think you are close. But the truth is that you guys have no idea what that kind of friendship is. A best friend is someone you can call and say in seriousness “I need a million dollars” and they mortgage their house, no questions asked. A best friend is someone you trust with your family’s lives. A best friend isn’t the person you sit on the couches in the common room and make fun of other people with. So just think about that.” Then he picked up his chalk and went back to vocab.
I’ve been grateful for those words for the last 9 years. They were words to live by. And I can honestly say that I’ve been lucky enough to find some friends who meet those standards. I drank wine and ate mushroom risotto with some of them tonight. I’ve talked to others recently, and a couple I haven’t talked to in a while. But I know they’re out in the universe. The point is friendship isn’t simple-it’s complicated. Real friendship is sometimes hard and painful. But the friends who stand by you through love and loss-they’re so worth it.
Sunday 19 April 2009
Scraps of a Life
I’m packing. This is absurd. I just packed to come here and yet somehow I’m sifting through all of these things again. There’s new stuff here too:
-A business card from the Indian restaurant where Lindsay & I ate frequently.
-The brochure from La Cucharacha, an unfortunately named, but delicious Tex-Mex restaurant where Al, Lianne, and I talked endlessly about our futures.
-Programs & fliers from when the Hamilton College Choir came to Rome.
-Tickets from Tunisia, Sicily, & Florence
Then there’s all the stuff that doesn’t go in a scrapbook. I have a new addiction to “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. I can make spinach lasagna with my eyes closed. I have GROSS feet from walking around the city. And I’ve lived in this cit y that has taken life out of me, put it back in and then shook me up completely, just for fun. The people I’ve met here…we have this bond now that’s different. Maybe it wasn’t a natural bond, but it’s definitely here now. I’m going to miss them & this.
Also my hair is really long and I'm sure my father will make some sort of hobo comment when I get home.
-A business card from the Indian restaurant where Lindsay & I ate frequently.
-The brochure from La Cucharacha, an unfortunately named, but delicious Tex-Mex restaurant where Al, Lianne, and I talked endlessly about our futures.
-Programs & fliers from when the Hamilton College Choir came to Rome.
-Tickets from Tunisia, Sicily, & Florence
Then there’s all the stuff that doesn’t go in a scrapbook. I have a new addiction to “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. I can make spinach lasagna with my eyes closed. I have GROSS feet from walking around the city. And I’ve lived in this cit y that has taken life out of me, put it back in and then shook me up completely, just for fun. The people I’ve met here…we have this bond now that’s different. Maybe it wasn’t a natural bond, but it’s definitely here now. I’m going to miss them & this.
Also my hair is really long and I'm sure my father will make some sort of hobo comment when I get home.
Wednesday 15 April 2009
Three Types of Pizza for Dinner
Nine days. Nine days.
Seriously.
I honestly can’t believe that my semester in Italy has flown by so fast. Today I walked into the pizza parlor where all I could do was point in January. Today I had a full-blown conversation.
Last night my roommates were shrieking because roommate A was convinced that roommate B was wearing her underwear. It’s distinctly possible that she was. We still don’t know for sure.
Roommate B also hung a full clove of garlic above my bed. Don’t ask me why, but I’ve been sleeping MUCH better since she did that.
Seriously.
I honestly can’t believe that my semester in Italy has flown by so fast. Today I walked into the pizza parlor where all I could do was point in January. Today I had a full-blown conversation.
Last night my roommates were shrieking because roommate A was convinced that roommate B was wearing her underwear. It’s distinctly possible that she was. We still don’t know for sure.
Roommate B also hung a full clove of garlic above my bed. Don’t ask me why, but I’ve been sleeping MUCH better since she did that.
Tuesday 7 April 2009
Earthquakes
First of all, let me say that my thoughts and prayers go out to all the people in the area of Italy where there was serious damage and many lives lost.
Then let me say, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
An EARTHQUAKE?!?!?!?!
Ok, when I was getting ready to come to Italy, everyone said "Watch out for the Italian men." Nobody said watch out for the seismic activity that will make your bed move around!!
Monday night I was at a hotel with my friend B, who was visiting. At about 3:30 in the morning the bed started shaking and I was like whoa, what is this? By the time I was awake enough to understand what was going on, the rumbling was over. So I called my mom to assure her that I was ok.
The woman did not believe that there had been an earthquake. I think she thought that I was under the influence.
I know I have an active imagination, but even I cannot imagine an earthquake!
What's even more ridiculous is that a lot of people on my program slept through it. How do you sleep through an earthquake? Can you teach me? This might be a valuable skill.
In other news:
-Malawi said no dice to Madonna adopting another baby. I do recognize that the little girl's life would probably be better outside of the orphanage, but seriously, Madonna's 50 years old. That is too old to be raising a toddler. I know, because whenever I spend time with Jasmine, that child exhausts me, and we have to play games that involve "lying very still with our eyes shut and no talking".
-19 days left in Italy. That is weird.
-There's a creepy mime by the Trevi Fountain who whacks girls on the butt with his baton. Next time that happens to me, I'm whacking him back. You'll probably be able to read about it online-"American Student Gets Into Brawl With Mime-Explains "He Started It, That Butt-Toucher"" (P.S. I'm sure there is some joke about a mime and fighting but what can I say I'm too tired from pretending to study Italian, but really reading about Michelle Obama)
Then let me say, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
An EARTHQUAKE?!?!?!?!
Ok, when I was getting ready to come to Italy, everyone said "Watch out for the Italian men." Nobody said watch out for the seismic activity that will make your bed move around!!
Monday night I was at a hotel with my friend B, who was visiting. At about 3:30 in the morning the bed started shaking and I was like whoa, what is this? By the time I was awake enough to understand what was going on, the rumbling was over. So I called my mom to assure her that I was ok.
The woman did not believe that there had been an earthquake. I think she thought that I was under the influence.
I know I have an active imagination, but even I cannot imagine an earthquake!
What's even more ridiculous is that a lot of people on my program slept through it. How do you sleep through an earthquake? Can you teach me? This might be a valuable skill.
In other news:
-Malawi said no dice to Madonna adopting another baby. I do recognize that the little girl's life would probably be better outside of the orphanage, but seriously, Madonna's 50 years old. That is too old to be raising a toddler. I know, because whenever I spend time with Jasmine, that child exhausts me, and we have to play games that involve "lying very still with our eyes shut and no talking".
-19 days left in Italy. That is weird.
-There's a creepy mime by the Trevi Fountain who whacks girls on the butt with his baton. Next time that happens to me, I'm whacking him back. You'll probably be able to read about it online-"American Student Gets Into Brawl With Mime-Explains "He Started It, That Butt-Toucher"" (P.S. I'm sure there is some joke about a mime and fighting but what can I say I'm too tired from pretending to study Italian, but really reading about Michelle Obama)
Wednesday 1 April 2009
A Few Funnies
My roommate's nephew was born last night. That led to this conversation:
"Oh man that baby has no idea what's going on right now! He is freaking out! Do you remember birth? I remember birth."
Spring is springing! This means that my feet need to look nice. I painted my toenails gold.
When the Obamas met the Queen of England, the queen looked like a midget. A little midget with marshmallow fluff on her head.
I'm listening to a lot of Bob Marley.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: amazing show. So is Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman but apparently watching that takes away my street cred. I watch it anyway though, cause her boyfriend is HOT.
"Oh man that baby has no idea what's going on right now! He is freaking out! Do you remember birth? I remember birth."
Spring is springing! This means that my feet need to look nice. I painted my toenails gold.
When the Obamas met the Queen of England, the queen looked like a midget. A little midget with marshmallow fluff on her head.
I'm listening to a lot of Bob Marley.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: amazing show. So is Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman but apparently watching that takes away my street cred. I watch it anyway though, cause her boyfriend is HOT.
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