BFFs

I had this great teacher in sixth grade. He was an English teacher and the man was hysterically funny. He also had no patience for sixth grade bullshit.
One day we were sitting in class. I was feeling pretty morose, probably because one my so-called friends had said something horrible to me. I got picked on a lot in sixth grade-much of it was because I made myself a target, and a lot of it was just the cattiness of adolescent girls. Anyway, this teacher suddenly stopped his lesson, put down the chalk and went off on a tangent that had been as valuable to me as knowing the word anomaly ever has been.
He said to us “You know, you guys think that the people you’re friends with now are your BEST FRIENDS. You think you are close. But the truth is that you guys have no idea what that kind of friendship is. A best friend is someone you can call and say in seriousness “I need a million dollars” and they mortgage their house, no questions asked. A best friend is someone you trust with your family’s lives. A best friend isn’t the person you sit on the couches in the common room and make fun of other people with. So just think about that.” Then he picked up his chalk and went back to vocab.
I’ve been grateful for those words for the last 9 years. They were words to live by. And I can honestly say that I’ve been lucky enough to find some friends who meet those standards. I drank wine and ate mushroom risotto with some of them tonight. I’ve talked to others recently, and a couple I haven’t talked to in a while. But I know they’re out in the universe. The point is friendship isn’t simple-it’s complicated. Real friendship is sometimes hard and painful. But the friends who stand by you through love and loss-they’re so worth it.