Heat

Did you know that crime sprees tend to be correlated to heat waves? I totally believe it, because every time the temperature rises above 87 degrees I want to shank someone.

-I hate cupcakes these days. I hate that every freaking girl in the United States yaps about "Ohmigod I love cupcakes!" Cupcakes are no longer cute, they're just irritating. Don't get me wrong I love cake, pie, panna cotta, flan, crepes...basically any dessert. What I can't handle is the cupcake culture.

-I read Esquire now. And not just because Gerard Butler is on the cover of this month's issue.

-I liked Bruno. Wildly inappropriate, yes, but still funny.

-Gregory Peck is one of the loves of my life. But he's dead. So now I semi-stalk is grandson, Ethan Peck. Ethan is the new star of ABC Family's 10 Things I Hate About You. I've gotten pretty hooked on ABC Family this summer. It's pretty sad. I keep telling myself it's just until 30 Rock is back or something, but I think we all know that come fall I'll still be concerned about Amy & Ben on The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

-If I wear a plaid shirt, will I look like a lumberjack? This is my concern.

The 4th of July

I love Independence Day. I am all about hot dogs, cherry pie, and fireworks. I've had some particularly awesome 4th's.

This year, I want to kill someone.

Don't get me wrong-I had a great day with one of my best friends. I blew off my family because they were going to a place where if I say latte, they look nervous, and the ratio of guns to people is 2:1.

So I stayed behind with the dog. Who has issues. Especially involving loud noises.

And the &^%#^!@ neighbors are ALL setting off illegal fireworks. The dog has basically shat himself about 16 times.

I'm 32 seconds away from calling the cops. I love the 4th of July, but I love my dog more.